Let Him Go
by rizzles-4-lyf
Summary: Jane and Maura try to deal with the death of Detective Frost. One shot.


"Tell me what to do." Maura begged quietly as she held her sobbing best friend. Maura ran her hands rhythmically through Janes long black hair, trying everything she could to calm her down. "You're going to make yourself sick." Maura whispered as she noted how long her best friend had been crying. She was more than aware that Jane was heading towards a throbbing headache and painful vomiting.

"He's actually…. He's dead." Jane managed to say between gasps for air, her hands gripping onto Mauras jacket for dear life, almost as though if she let go; she'd fall through the floor beneath her. Maura nodded silently at her words, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to hold her own emotions in. She would have plenty of time to grieve for Detective Frost once she'd calmed Jane down.

Jane had happily been avoiding the topic of her partners sudden death. When she walked down into the autopsy room; the last thing she expected was to see his cold, lifeless body before her. It took all of fifteen seconds for Janes brain to comprehend what was being presented to her, and a mere three seconds for her to throw up her lunch all over the autopsy room floor.

They remained on the floor of Mauras office, the blondes arms tightly wrapped around the detective for another hour before Frankie knocked quietly on the door; his eyes wide at the sight of the two women on the floor. He bent down and lifted Janes weak body off of her best friend and onto the leather sofa, sighing as she pushed him away.

"What happened?" He asked Maura quietly, the blonde woman placing a hand over her mouth as she tried with everything inside of her to keep her tears at bay.

"Do not look in that room." Jane said, and in a natural reaction to her words; Frankie turned his body around and peered through the window from where he stood. His breathing got shallow and Maura felt her heart sink into the pits of her chest cavity.

"Frankie, don't." Maura said under her breath from her place on the floor. His sudden pale face and blank expression told Maura she was too late. He turned and walked back out of the door he had just walked through; leaving the two women alone again. "Please; tell me what to do." Maura begged again, frustrated at her own brain for not knowing how to deal with the situation before her.

Maura knew all there was to know about the human anatomy. You could ask her anything; and she wouldn't have to even think before she answered you. Yet sitting here watching her best friend fall apart in front of her, she was at a loss. Her brain was struggling to come up with something to say that would reassure Jane she would be okay.

Maybe that's because Maura, for the first time in her life, wasn't sure of something. She didn't know that Jane would be okay, and she didn't know how she was supposed to walk into that room and cut his body open.

"I'm going home." Janes strained husky voice echoed in Mauras head as her best friend pushed her away, and before Maura knew it; she was sitting alone on the cold floor wondering how she was ever going to get off the floor.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Stop." Maura whispered to herself as she stood, her whole body visibly shaking, at the entrance to the autopsy room. Her hands were shaking so hard she wondered if she would even be able to hold the scalpel. "You are a doctor; stop." Her voice was quiet, catching in her throat as she pushed the door open and entered the room.

Nothing about the room was different. Everything was placed in the same position. The room had the same clean smell it always had. Maura was wearing the same scrubs she wore every day. So why did everything feel so different?

Susie, she assumed, had placed a face cover over his face in an attempt to make it easier, but when Maura looked down at his hands, her stomach turned. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she took off her gloves, pulling up a chair and sitting beside his body.

"Everyone misses you." Maura sighed, taking his hand in hers. She had touched so many dead bodies since she started working here, she'd lost count, yet she was shocked at just how hard and cold his skin was under her hand. She shook her head, too many emotions she couldn't explain filling her body. She pushed away from the table and made her way home, hoping that a good night's sleep would bring her some clarity.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Maura had barely made it home before her whole body gave out. She slumped all of her weight against her kitchen counter. She was exhausted. Emotionally, mentally and physically; she could not have been more exhausted.

"Oh god." The second the words left her mouth, she was sobbing. She felt her chest tighten, her hands start to shake again as violent sobs escaped her body. Her loud cries echoed through her kitchen, and the sound of her own pain made her cry even harder. She thought back over the past five years. All she remembered about Frost was his contagious laugh and his quiet personality. She remembered how passionate he was about his work and how he had protected her so many times.

"Maura?" Janes voice came from the other side of the locked front door. Maura knew Jane had a key to her home, and was determined not to let the dark haired woman see her in such a state. She made her way to her bedroom, hearing the front door close as she reached her bed, wiping her eyes and crawling under the blankets in the dark. She hoped Jane wouldn't feel the need to turn the light on; but of course it was the first thing Jane did.

"Don't." Mauras voice was thick with every emotion she was feeling, and it took Jane all of three seconds to recognise that her best friend had been crying. "I'm sorry" Maura murmured as Jane turned off the light and crawled into the bed beside her, lying face to face with her best friend.

"I let it all out today, now it's your turn." Jane whispered, a quiet sob escaping Mauras chest seconds later. "I got you, it's okay." Jane swallowed the lump in her throat as she moved closer to Maura, placing an arm around her middle as she leaned her forehead against Mauras.

"I couldn't do the autopsy." Maura told her between silent gasps for air. Jane nodded slowly, knowing for a fact there was no way she would ever be able to look at that autopsy room the same again.

"He wouldn't blame you for asking someone else to do it." Maura sighed at her friends words, a weight feeling as though it had been lifted straight off of her shoulders.

"You always know exactly what to say." Maura laughed lightly as Jane moved to wipe away a few stray tears that were left on Mauras cheek.

**I got a bit emotional writing this one and had to stop before it turned into a ridiculously long story that I never published. I'm sorry it's short and I haven't edited it at all.**


End file.
